Justin quipped that I came from “hearty peasant stock,” due to my Russian and German origins, and hence, was cut out to be an earth mother. Smugly, I agreed.

I didn’t even know or bother to learn how formula worked, so convinced was I that I’d be my kid’s nourishment. Like so many moms, I had everything planned out. No plastic toys — just educational wooden ones made by fair-trade artisans. Only organic clothes, and of course, an organic mattress that would get at least a week to air out — and that cost three times as much as the one we slept on, to my husband’s eternal bemusement and annoyance.